Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
