Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
