Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
