I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize