we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
