He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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