My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
