SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
