Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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