Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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