Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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