YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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