dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
