FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
