I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
