I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
