Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
