god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
