it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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