2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
