I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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