He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
