hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
