We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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