I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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