I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
