I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
