I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
