you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
