she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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