The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
