he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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