I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
