I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
