You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
