I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
