i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
