Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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