Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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