I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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