you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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