The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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