I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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