It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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