Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am one with the molecules
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
