Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
did you just send me my own nude
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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