i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
