You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize