dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
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I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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