my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
