I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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