the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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