May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize