if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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