Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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