We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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