Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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