So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
