You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
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Mom said you looked used
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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